Put on your party pants

Some suggestions to improve the Democratic Convention: (pay attention Republicans because you're up next)...

1. Less talk of "political red meat" - it makes me want a cheeseburger, and if I gain weight because of your speeches, I'm sure as heck not going to vote for you.

2. Less blue - I don't know if you noticed, but not all the speakers, (or attendees), look good in blue, and it's a shame that they are obligated to look less than their best just because they hate George Bush. It seems like something the Democrats would be against - leaving all the other colors out like that. I say, enough of this "courage to take on big business" nonsense - give me a Democrat with the courage to wear red. Now that's someone who will really stick it to The Man.

3. Less finger pointing - I mean literally. Stop pointing at us. We know who you're talking to. We know you want us to believe you - and we don't. So please, do something else with your hands while you're speaking. Here are some suggestions - salute (it will make you look more patriotic), wave one of those little flags my kids get from...hey where do they get those little flags (?) (it will make you look more patriotic), wave them in the air like you just don't care (I don't think it will make you look more patriotic, but it will certainly draw attention, and I'm assuming that's what you want anyway).

4. Less men talking about the "womens' vote" - Boys - you know a lot of stuff, but what's going on in my head ain't one of them. Stop telling me what issues are important to me. I can be concerned about whatever I want, like "why would I vote for a guy that wore a bolo tie with a 3 button suit to address a national audience?" (I don't care if you are from Montana - put on a tie dude.) Anyway, Mr.Political Know It All Guy - you aren't the boss of me.

5. No more MTV style picture montages to music by The Kinks, Lenny Kravitz, and Tom Petty making Hillary Clinton look like the gracious loser and champion of women everywhere, so that the people who wanted to vote for her wouldn't make a big bru-ha-ha (I made up my own spelling there) and mess up the convention by trying to vote for her anyway. By the way, even though I do not like Hillary Clinton and would rather move to Canada than vote for her, I don't think those poor losers should be discouraged from voting for her. Voting for the person that you think would do the best job is not "throwing away your vote" simply because that person is not going to win. Democracy was never about winning with the majority at the loss of your own opinion, it is about standing up and saying what you think. And if you think that the loser is the best choice, then voter - be a big loser. Do it for democracy, do it for your conscience, but most importantly, do it for the Republicans (because that is the only way they are going to win in November).

6. Lastly Democrats - let's stop using the word "party" so loosely. It implies a good time. From what I saw, your "party" turned out to be pretty darn boring (and you'd hate for W to have an excuse to sic (again with the invented spelling) the FCC on you for being a liar liar pants on fire. )

Hope these suggestions help you bring your "A" game next time Dems. - and just in case I'm always here to help.