Aloha to no pants

Dear State of Hawaii-
Thank you so much for having the ocean and sun all ready for my vacation. I think it must have been a lot of work. Also, thank you for keeping Jaws in his kennel while I was here - I'm sure he's lovely, but not everyone is an animal lover.

Also, I was wondering where all the chubby girls are? Do you make them declare themselves at the agriculture checkpoint, and quarantine them until they've done enough squats to tone up their bums? Do you keep the ugly people there too, because I didn't see any at all while I was here. Even your boys are pretty.

Anyway, I hope to come back soon - there is no shave ice where I live, and if there was, I would have to share it with my kids, and they can eat a lot.


ps- In case you do not recognize "maloha" it is hello, good bye and thank you all in one. It's a time saver really and I know how much you appreciate a good time saver.

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