2.10.2009

There's a late slip in my pants pocket.

I was never late to school when I was a little girl.  Not once.  I always felt sorry for the little kids that sort of tip-toed into class during the Pledge of Allegiance with their heels hanging out of the backs of their sneakers and a cold piece of toast in their hand.  Their hair, as I recall, usually bore a striking resemblance to Albert Einstein's after a night of clubbing with his homies.  Sad.  I always felt bad that they had to face the firing squad made up of the judgey front desk attendance lady and a teacher that could put that kind of stuff down on your permanent record, or worse - put your name on the board... especially since I assumed it was their loser parent's fault.  I mean, what 6 year old gets themself to school?

Well parents of the Lockwood Elementary kindergarten class of 1980, I apologize.  Turns out, those little juvenile deliquents earned every one of those little pink tardy slips all on their own.  

When my husband left the house at 7:59 this morning to take my son the .8 miles to school the timeline should've gone something like this:
8:04 arrive at school
8:06 arrive in cafeteria where Mrs.P is waiting to greet you in all of her kindergarten teacher        glory; talk Star Wars and Legos with best friend M.
8:15  walk to class in one straight line - no talking, no pushing, no spitting  (I made that last one  up, but I cannot believe that it wouldn't be part of the rules)
8:20  start class... on time... responsibly... making your parents look good

Instead it went something like this:
8:04    arrive at school
8:06    walk through the doors of the school
8:06a  turn head for one last look at Dad driving away, notice huge snowflakes that look               exactly like fluffy cotton balls 
8:06b   wonder if it is possible to catch those huge, fluffy, cotton ball snowflakes on tongue
8:07    turn body and walk back outside
8:10    catch snowflakes on tongue
8:15    catch snowflakes on tongue
8:20    catch snowflakes on tongue
8:25    catch snowflakes on tongue
8:27    be escorted back inside by a judgey front desk attendance lady that notices you out on         the lawn catching snowflakes on tongue (finally - hello?)
8:29   receive tardy slip
8:31   tip-toe into class during the Pledge of Allegiance... not on time... not making your parents    look good

So... after today my son's permanent record reads a little something like this:
Mack - tardy due to inclement weather and the complete inability to not be a little boy.

Good for him.


Bookmark and Share

7 comments:

Nika Travis and Ayda said...

Good to know someone is paying attention...how many minutes did he catch snowflakes...come on people.

pixie cut said...

I know that was the only part that really concerned me - I thought my kid was in the school and instead he was wondering around by himself. I think I might call and find out if anyone is at the doors "greeting" the kids as they arrive so that they can't disappear.

Jadie said...

Good for him, indeed. Being judgey must be a job requirement for those front desk ladies.

And yes, definitely make that call.

Polly said...

Love it - that was awesome! Great story to have too!

Genet said...

I think that is a fabulous reason for being tardy! Usually I think it's just because you can't find the shoes! I remember feeling the exact same way about the late kids in school though. Little did I know!

Dayfamilyof4 said...

I just stumbled upon your blog from "marathon mommies"...you are a wonderfully refreshing writer and I will definitely be visiting again for comic relief.
Thanks for writing.

pixie cut said...

aaah thanks - Don't know you, but already love you.
e