12.16.2009

{ My son's Ptnas }


Some people can spell. Some people can't.  Most people fall into the second category. That's why they invented dictionaries... and when that didn't work they invented spell check... and when that didn't work they invented texting.

 I don't believe in texting - all it does is promote sloppy handwriting and poor spelling/grammar... and it feels suspiciously like the telegraph to me - only smaller and more annoying.  I'm pretty sure that eventually the texting people will be selling a handheld device that will utilize some other "cutting edge" technology - like smoke signals... because they're all about efficiency in communication.  It'll be called smexting (not to be confused with sexting)  and the smoke will come in a choice of your favorite color - just to make it more "you".  Also, either U2 or Coldplay will write the song for the ad campaign.  (Oh, just a PS on the sexting thing - if a man/boy is sending you sex messages typed out in short hand on your phone he is  a). tacky  
b). possibly cheating on someone within the range of his voice  
c). intending to show his man friends everything you said and will probably email your sweet nothings to your mom when he dumps you in favor of a faster sexter.  Don't say I didn't warn you), 

 I'm not even sure how most people use those little touch screen phones.  I can barely see the keys, let alone touch only one of them at a time.  It's like that game "Operation".  I keep expecting a buzzer to go off every time I type in a letter.  It makes my hands shaky (and a little sweaty) just thinking about it.   Apparently the cell phone industry uses a bunch of Chinese sweatshop seamstresses to test out their products.  How about throwing a few big boned white girls into those focus groups fellas?  Oh, and to you Mr. "let's invent a bunch of super helpful texty features, like maybe one that automatically fills in the word that you want to use with a word that is similar to but not actually the word you want use", you owe me  a new phone... one that doesn't break when you throw it out the window.  


I just don't text.  In addition to my annoyance,  I'm really slow and my level of accuracy leaves something to be desired.  It takes me like 20 minutes to type "da kds r kklng me.  wn r u cunig hone?"...which is followed by a phone call from my husband clarifying my text message - "the kids are killing you.  when am I coming home?"  Like I said - super efficient.  I'm not good at it, and I don't want to get good at it.

I know that this might be techno lame, but I like it when the words I'm reading are spelled out...all the way... with all of the letters... in the right places.  It just seems to me that the more we abbreviate and change and eliminate parts of our language the more likely we are to miscommunicate and cause problems and create more work for ourselves.

What I learned this week is that I am not alone in my opposition to the alternative spelling movement.  Mother Nature isn't on board either.  Especially when it comes to a little something called DNA.  Even though it can only use only 4 letters (A, T, C, and G), DNA spells out the longest word in the world.  (Take that antidisestablishmentarianism.)  Long story short, you'd better hope that your DNA was homeschooled because this is one spelling bee word that you don't want to mess up.  Too bad for us... our son's DNA was not so much a speller as a texter... and not a very good one. Turns out that his DNA reads "A" where it's supposed to read "T"... and it ends up spelling "hemophilia".


For those of you who don't know, hemophilia is a bleeding disorder that effects primarily boys (there are a few girls that have it, but it's really rare).  Hemophiliacs are missing a protein in their blood that helps it to clot.  There are really excellent treatments now, and the risk of being infected by blood born diseases like Hepatitis and HIV is basically zero these days because the replacement clotting factor is made from synthetics instead of human plasma.


We are doing totally fine.  We have a great treatment center with an amazing hematologist and insurance that covers our son's care and meds.  (Tender mercies people, tender mercies.)

I debated whether or not I should write about this, it's not exactly funny and doesn't make as good a story as giving myself a bad haircut, or locking myself out of the car at Winco...but I write about life, and this is just part of our life.  Although I wouldn't ever raise my hand and volunteer my son to have a life long medical condition, especially one that involves so many needles, I am not sorry for him either.  I will never mourn the life of another person just because their body functions differently than mine.  I think it's condescending and arrogant.  It would imply that because a person faces challenges different than mine that they will, by definition of their circumstances, have a less fulfilling life.  I have a friend with a child with Down Syndrome, a friend whose child died during birth because his heart was backward (and some other stuff) and a niece with cystic fibrosis.  I never said that I was sorry about those children because I am not sorry about them.  They should be celebrated just like every other baby born to this world.  Each of them is important and will contribute things and learn things and be things that I can and will never be.  So here it is - I don't want anyone telling me that they are sorry about my son - unless you want to annoy me... which you don't.

However... you can tell me that I have the most beautiful baby that you've ever seen, and that he's really, really ridiculously lucky... and clearly a genius... and brimming with talent... just like his mother.  You can even text it to me.  I'll let it go - just this once.








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11 comments:

Carlie K said...

In accordance with your wishes I say nothing, except, I can spell Anitdisestablishmentarianism faster than my name, memorized it in 5th grade and I think that's all that stuck! Never knew what it meant!

Amy Jo said...

Your son is REALLY REALLY ridiculously good looking as Derek Zoolander would say, AND.. I actually am glad you posted about hemophillia because I explain it to people too because it is in the family. I actually can't wait to meet all the new kids that have joined the fam since the last time I was in Oregon (and p.s., I am really sad I don't have your address because I have an unaddressed Christmas card for you that I have been carrying around for a month in my purse)

Genet said...

Your son is definitely very handsome and incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful mom who will teach him to be strong & positive regardless of the challenges he faces in life. However, I've come around to texting in certain circumstances. Comes in very handy at times!

Jadie said...

I'm a spelling Nazi myself--although I'll ENUF here and THO there...

Truth be told, I never feel entirely comfortable when I do.

I haven't had the pleasure of meeting your youngest yet, but I've no doubt that he's a beautiful genius brimming with talent. THAT's in his DNA as well.

The Laundry Queen said...

I don't text either, so I'll just spell this out. With all the letters. I think your post is fabulous, you're fabulous, and so is the new kid. Can't wait to meet him some day.

grammy said...

I come from the era of weekly spelling bees, but I am a slow texter and use the abbreviations as appropriate. The next challenge is learning to dangle some device in my ear, so I can drive with hands free cell phone use. (January 1, 2010). There is a distinct advantage to a boy with hemophilia -- they don't ever have to worry about taking a hit during a football game! Love all the kids with or without the crazy genes.

e. said...

... He will also never go to war. Nobody wants a bleeder on the battlefield.

Marvelous Me said...

... Plus, you will learn SO much more about blood than you ever did before!

I am one of those moms whose baby died before they were born. And when people ask how I lived through it, I say "I do what any good mom would do for their child. Everything." I have no doubt you will be exactly that mom.

Happy Holmes said...

Texting is my life. Its a way for me to "yell" or just bark orders, without actually having to yell at my husband. If you ask me texting is the means by which women can communicate to their hsubands without being tagged "the nag". Plus.. they can't fight back.

I would be good in war, eh!

and... looking on the bright side of hemo, I think its a get-out-of-gym-class-free card. Pretty sweet if you ask me!

carmar76 said...

Texting can be very helpful, and I'm all for abbreviations. But some of the "new" versions can't even be called that! I'm good w/ (w/!) ppl and tho and thru. Not so good with boi, gurl, luv, and misusing words that should (or shouldn't) have apostrophes! I'd like to be able to actually understand the text, as well... : )

And what HH said about getting out of gym.

Jadie said...

Sweet new layout!