I don't usually do this topic on this blog so much, but lots of people ask me what Tiny's treatments are like. So I thought I'd give you a look. (If you want to know more about hemophilia or need clarification on the terms just check out our family blog "The Bloody Good Life"... mostly because I'm too lazy to cut and paste it over here.)
Prophy day (we have a standing appointment at our center for once a week treatments:)
7:30 wake up. Have a nurse. Have a bath.
Daily bruise inventory? Check.
Get dressed in short sleeves for easy vein access. Go for a layered look with a sweatshirt to keep the veins warm and plumpy...and stylish.
Electronic distraction for 4 year old brother? Check.
Factor? Check. Extra box of Factor? Check.
Arrive at treatment center a little early for parking...
... and playing
Favorite exam room? Check.
Purple gloves. You know you've got trouble when they pull out the purple gloves.
Pick a vein... any vein.
Mmmm. Hot packs. Warm veins are happy veins.
Mix the factor.
Cross your fingers for one good stick.
Let the good stuff flow.
Get big love from the amazing team. Seriously. They are like prophy Ninjas.
Every Friday I take an inventory of what is in my kids' backpacks.
... Same baggy of carrots that I just keep putting back into their lunchboxes day after day so that I will look like a good mom just in case Jaimie Oliver shows up at our elementary school... but without having to buy more carrots that will never be eaten? Check.
... A bunch of graded papers that I throw away without even looking at them first because I figure if there was real problem I would've heard by now? Check.
... All kinds of art projects that I tell my kids I'm keeping in their "special boxes" but really they end up in the same place that the graded papers end up? Check.
... Next month's calendar which confirms my suspicion that the last 4 weeks of school are just for show? Check.
The weekly backpack check is how I found out that my daughter has 3 field trips in the next three weeks... and because I pretty much live by the Biblical principle of "better you than me" I signed up to help with the one that has nothing to do with riding a bus with 120, 10-year-olds.
Last year, when I was younger, stupider and pregnanter I chaperoned the third grade trip to the junior symphony in downtown Portland. If you've ever considered driving a school bus as a profession - Do. Not. Do. It. The poor bus driver lady had to maneuver what is essentially a cattle car for children down all kinds of one way streets that were clearly designed for people on horses or maybe those bikes with the really big front wheel. Every time I saw movement out the window I'd stamp my foot down like I was pushing on an imaginary brake. Also, I kept doing that arm-seatbelt thing across my daughter's chest like my mom did to whoever was sitting in the front seat of our car from about 1978 onward. By the time we got to the concert my hands were totally sweaty, I was maybe going to throw up a little bit and I seriously considered calling my husband to come pick me up. (What I learned from this was that unless you want to die in a metal box that smells like dirty feet and peanut butter and sounds like that really scary attic scene from "The Birds" you should pretend like you're an involved parent some other way.)
The field trip destination was a concert hall that's all Baroqued out with carvings and beautiful architecture and marble floors and that lovely way sounds spiral up to the ceiling in buildings that are meant to be listened in. It also has a statue right in the entry way... a nude statue. I don't totally remember, but I'm pretty sure that this particular nude was a woman, because I don't recall any embarrassing boys bits hanging out there. What I do remember is that there was a lot of pointing and hands covering mouths and the kind of laughter you might do if you walk in on someone going to the bathroom. The third graders found the naked bum part particularly amusing. I think I spent the entire time up until intermission telling them to be quiet and stop laughing about the naked statue... at which point they went out to have another look.
Having learned last year's lesson about chaperoning field trips that have anything to do with a bus ride, I volunteered to go with my daughter's fourth grade walking trip to our local heritage center...yesterday. It can be summarized thus: 120 ten-year-olds, 2 miles there, 2 miles back. Old folks dressed like pioneers. Lots of rain.
This year's lesson? Stick to volunteering in the art program.
When I was around 20 I started to know a whole lot about how to raise other people's kids. I did not have children. I did not want children... but I did know that when I did want and have children, they would not behave like those kids in the mall that hid from their mother under the Nordstrom clothing racks like some kind of freaky little special-ops ninja. I also knew that they would not say things like "you can't make me" when I told them to clean their room, yell out "take that you fool" while pretending to shoot the guy in the pew next to us during church, or write their initials all over the upholstery of my Volkswagen van with a bright blue Sharpie... (including the top of their baby brother's little bald head.)
What I did not know, however, was that every time I thought to myself "my child will never dothat" God would dig through his personnel files and pick out the kids who he knew would totally do "that"...and then he would send out a memo to the shipping department that said essentially "Hey, you know how we didn't know where in the heck to send this one? Well, I just found him a spot. By the way, clear your schedule, because you're gonna want to watch this. Oh, and pull up that training video "Pride and You". I think we'll be able to get some updated footage."
I'm pretty sure that babies start out as babies primarily so that you can start out kidding yourself into thinking that you are the reason that they are so squishy and cute. You can believe that they sit up because you are a good mother, and use the baby sign language to ask for more freshly steamed sweet potatoes because you are a good mother, and learn to walk in uncomfortable shoes like a proper human being because you are a good mother. We say it's all about the baby, but really it's mostly about "Hey look what my kid can do. Don't you think I'm a good mom?" This is a trap ladies... and I'll tell you why. Eventually you are going to take your above average child to a Zumba class at your church and while you are doing your ab work at the end of your "wow, I didn't know I was Latin" exercise extravaganza he will walk over to some random lady who has clearly done more sit-ups than is healthy... and kick her. Just like that. (This actually happened to my friend of mine... a good friend and a good mom). All I'm saying is that if you start thinking that the reason your child has the talents, or disposition or personality that they do because of something you control... when they turn beasty, you're in for a massive identity crisis.
Don't get me wrong. I believe that parents play a huge role in the development of a child, but I've known too many good moms who feel totally defeated when faced with a child who came with a little more fire, or tears or hatred of seams than everyone else things they should have. Really good moms who have had to put up with the comments about "if you'd just let her cry it out then she'd sleep"...or "if he's hungry enough he'll eat it"...or "it looks like you've got your hands full"... Which is what I got to hear from a total stranger last week when I turned around at the park to find my 4 year old son, bum exposed to the world, peeing in the flower bed. I looked her right in the eye and said "You know, I'm never quite sure what people are trying to tell me when they say that". Then, I pulled up my son's pants, told him (really loudly so that every mom within earshot could hear) "good job keeping those pants dry buddy" and headed for the car... with my pointy chin held high... totally embarrassed and wondering how I could be so bad at this mothering thing after almost 11 years.
... maybe I'll just blame his father for this one.
Something went terribly amiss with the giveaway picture yesterday. It displayed fine on my computer, but apparently looked like a giant frowny face to everyone else. I'm not guessing that you want to win a frowny face. I reposted and you should be able to see the real picture now.
Let your hippy chick shine through... carry your baby close to your body with this very cool baby wrap from Raspberry Baby. I use a baby wrap almost every day and highly recommend it to moms who love to hold their wee one... but may find it hard to hold their wee one while chasing the wee one's brother in the parking lot of Target, piling the wee one's astonishingly large pile of clothes into the dryer or cleaning up the pureed carrots rejected by the wee one at lunch.
The color of this wrap is super rad- grey (good for a boy or girl) and the style allows it to be used from infant to big kid, in front/on the back/on the hip. Who doesn't love something that can grow with the baby? Good for you, your child and your pocket book. Keep it for yourself, or give it as a gift.
This prize comes to us courtesy of Tiffany at Raspberry Baby. Based in Dallas TX, she is a mother of 3 and an etsy veteran of a few years. Her shop started with simple ring slings (which are still available if you aren't a fan of the wrap), and now boasts maternity skirts, nursing covers (which are very handy for the modest among us) and many other goodies for moms. You can find her stuff at her shop on etsy as well as various boutiques across the country.
Lucky for you, you can also find her stuff right here... this month only... in our giveaway.
To be entered in this month's giveaway please visit Raspberry Baby on Etsy. Hustle your pants right back here and leave a comment about your favorite item. That is worth ONE ENTRY and one chance to win.
If you just can't stand losing and would like to rack up some additional entries, listen up. You can earn ONE ADDITIONAL ENTRY EACH by:
becoming a follower of Rants In My Pants (my blog must show up on the "blogs I'm following" portion of your dashboard or it doesn't count)
linking to the giveaway from your blog or website
posting a link to the giveaway on Facebook
Tweeting about the giveaway
taking one the buttons from my sidebar for your blog
and/or writing a post on your blog about the giveaway
If you purchase something from our generous sponsor (in the month in which they are featured), you will earn 5 ADDITIONAL ENTRIES. (I'll need an invoice number or some other type of verification so that I can double check with our sponsor. Like I said, I don't want cheaters to prosper.)
YOU MUST leave a different comment for each entry. (Example: One comment with your favorite thing and a different comment saying you are a follower). If you don't, don't blame me when you don't get your rightful chances. I will use random.org's random number generator to pick our winner. The winner's name will be posted on Rants In My Pants and will be notified via email. They will have 24 hours from the time of the post with the big announcement to claim their prize. If the prize is not claimed within the time limit, everyone (except the "too bad for you" winner) will stand up and cheer, because we'll try again with the random number, claim it within 24hrs. thing.
This deadline for entering this giveaway is May25 , 2010 @ 5pm PST.
This giveaway is open to US residents only.
Must be 18 to enter. If you're not 18, get your parent to enter for you.